Stories I only tell my friends: The Power Of Belief-System

September 22, 2012

To Make Life Simple Again

Filed under: Uncategorized — mylittleblackpen @ 3:42 am

When we were young life was easier, right?  I know sometimes it seems that way.  But the truth is life still is easy.  It always will be.  The only difference is we’re older, and the older we get, the more we complicate things for ourselves.

You see, when we were young we saw the world through simple, hopeful eyes.  We knew what we wanted and we had no biases or concealed agendas.  We liked people who smiled.  We avoided people who frowned.  We ate when we were hungry, drank when we were thirsty, and slept when we were tired.

As we grew older our minds became gradually disillusioned by negative external influences.  At some point we began to hesitate and question our instincts.  When a new obstacle or growing pain arose, we stumbled and a fell down.  This happened several times.  Eventually we decided we didn’t want to fall again, but rather than solving the problem that caused us to fall, we avoided it all together.

As a result, we ate comfort food and drank alcohol to numb our wounds and fill our voids.  We worked late nights on purpose to avoid unresolved conflicts at home.  We started holding grudges, playing mind games, and subtly deceiving others and ourselves to get ahead.  And when it didn’t work out, we lived above our means, bought things we didn’t need, and ate and drank some more just to make ourselves feel better again.

Over the course of time, we made our lives more and more difficult, and we started losing touch with who we really are and what we really need.

So let’s get back to the basics, shall we?  Let’s make things simple again.  It’s easy.  Here are 60 ways to do just that:

Life is not complex.  We are complex.  Life is simple,
and the simple thing is the right thing.
– Oscar Wilde

  1. Don’t try to read other people’s minds.  Don’t make other people try to read yours.  Communicate.
  2. Be polite, but don’t try to be friends with everyone around you.  Instead, spend time nurturing your relationships with the people who matter most to you.
  3. Your health is your life, keep up with it.  Get an annual physical check-up.
  4. Live below your means.  Don’t buy stuff you don’t need.  Always sleep on big purchases.  Create a budget and savings plan and stick to both of them.
  5. Get enough sleep every night.  An exhausted mind is rarely productive.
  6.  Get up 30 minutes earlier so you don’t have to rush around like a mad man.  That 30 minutes will help you avoid speeding tickets, tardiness, and other unnecessary headaches.
  7. Get off your high horse, talk it out, shake hands or hug, and move on.
  8. Don’t waste your time on jealously.  The only person you’re competing against is yourself.
  9. Surround yourself with people who fill your gaps.  Let them do the stuff they’re better at so you can do the stuff you’re better at.
  10. Organize your living space and working space.  Read David Allen’s book Getting Things Done for some practical organizational guidance.
  11. Get rid of stuff you don’t use.
  12. Ask someone if you aren’t sure.
  13. Spend a little time now learning a time-saving trick or shortcut that you can use over and over again in the future.
  14. Don’t try to please everyone.  Just do what you know is right.
  15. Don’t drink alcohol or consume recreational drugs when you’re mad or sad.  Take a jog instead.
  16. Be sure to pay your bills on time.
  17. Fill up your gas tank on the way home, not in the morning when you’re in a hurry.
  18. Use technology to automate tasks.
  19. Handle important two-minute tasks immediately.
  20. Relocate closer to your place of employment.
  21. Don’t steal.
  22. Always be honest with yourself and others.
  23. Say “I love you” to your loved ones as often as possible.
  24. Single-task.  Do one thing at a time and give it all you got.
  25. Finish one project before you start another.
  26. Be yourself.
  27. When traveling, pack light.  Don’t bring it unless you absolutely must.
  28. Clean up after yourself.  Don’t put it off until later.
  29. Learn to cook, and cook.
  30. Make a weekly (healthy) menu, and shop for only the items you need.
  31. Consider buying and cooking food in bulk.  If you make a large portion of something on Sunday, you can eat leftovers several times during the week without spending more time cooking.
  32. Stay out of other people’s drama.  And don’t needlessly create your own.
  33. Buy things with cash.
  34. Maintain your car, home, and other personal belongings you rely on.
  35. Smile often, even to complete strangers.
  36. If you hate doing it, stop it.
  37. Treat everyone with the same level of respect you would give to your grandfather and the same level of patience you would have with your baby brother.
  38. Apologize when you should.
  39. Write things down.
  40. Be curious.  Don’t be scared to learn something new.
  41. Explore new ideas and opportunities often.
  42. Don’t be shy.  Network with people.  Meet new people.
  43. Don’t worry too much about what other people think about you.
  44. Spend time with nice people who are smart, driven, and likeminded.
  45. Don’t text and drive.  Don’t drink and drive.
  46. Drink water when you’re thirsty.
  47. Don’t eat when you’re bored.  Eat when you’re hungry.
  48. Exercise every day.  Simply take a long, relaxing walk or commit 30 minutes to an at-home exercise program like the P90X workout.
  49. Let go of things you can’t change.  Concentrate on things you can.
  50. Find hard work you actually enjoy doing.
  51. Realize that the harder you work, the luckier you will become.
  52. Follow your heart.  Don’t waste your life fulfilling someone else’s dreams and desires.
  53. Set priorities for yourself and act accordingly.
  54. Take it slow and add up all your small victories.
  55. However good or bad a situation is now, it will change.  Accept this simple fact.
  56. Excel at what you do.  Otherwise you’ll just frustrate yourself.
  57. Mature, but don’t grow up too fast.
  58. Realize that you’re never quite as right as you think you are.
  59. Build something or do something that makes you proud.
  60. Make mistakes, learn from them, laugh about them, and move along.

8 Ways You’re Wasting Your Life

One of the hardest challenges we face in life is to simply live in our own skin – to just be right here, right now, regardless of where we are.  Too often we needlessly distract ourselves with anything and everything: food, booze, shopping, television, tabloid news, online social networks, video games, cell phones, iPods, etc. – basically anything to keep us from being fully present in the current moment.

We use compulsive work, compulsive exercise, compulsive love affairs, and the like, to escape from ourselves and the realities of living.  In fact, many of us will go to great lengths to avoid the feeling of being alone in an undistracted environment.  So we succumb to hanging-out with just about anybody to avoid the feeling of solitude.  For being alone means dealing with our true feelings: fear, anxiety, happiness, anger, joy, resentment, disappointment, anticipation, sadness, excitement, despair, and so on and so forth.

And it doesn’t really matter if our feelings are positive or negative – they are overwhelming and exhausting, and so we prefer to numb ourselves to them.  The bottom line is that every one of us is an addict, and what we are addicted to is avoiding ourselves.  Acknowledging this addiction is the first step to healing it.  So begin today by just noticing with curiosity, and without judgment, all of the ways in which you avoid being in your own skin, right here, right now, in this present moment we call life.

Here are eight reasons so many of us miss out on life as it’s happening.

  1. The fear of missing out. – If you feel anxious because you constantly feel like you’re missing out on something happening somewhere else, you’re not alone.  We all feel this way sometimes.  But let me assure you, you could run around trying to do everything, and travel around the world, and always stay connected, and work and party all night long without sleep, but you could never do it all.  You will always be missing something.  So let it go, and realize you have everything right now.  The best in life isn’t somewhere else; it’s right where you are, at this moment.  Celebrate the perhaps not altogether insignificant fact that you are alive right now.  This moment, and who you are, is absolutely perfect.  Take a deep breath, smile, and notice how lovely it is.  Read The Power of Now.
  2. Avoiding pain and defeat. – Not to spoil the ending for you, but everything is going to be OK – you just need to learn a lesson or two first.  Don’t run from the realities of the present moment.  The pain and defeat contained within is necessary to your long-term growth.  Remember, there is a difference between encountering defeats and being defeated.  Nothing ever goes away until it teaches you what you need to know, so you can move on to the next step.
  3. Holding on to what’s no longer there. – Some of us spend the vast majority of our lives recounting past memories, and letting them steer the course of the present.  Don’t waste your time trying to live in another time and place.  Let the past, go.  You must accept the end of something in order to begin to build something new.  So close some old doors today.  Not because of pride, inability or egotism, but simply because you’ve entered each one of them in the past and realize that they lead to nowhere.
  4. Retelling a self-defeating story. – If we continue to repeat a story in our head, we eventually believe that story and embrace it – whether it empowers us or not.  So the question is: Does your story empower you?  Don’t place your mistakes on your mind, their weight may crush your current potential.  Instead, place them under your feet and use them as a platform to view the horizon.  Remember, all things are difficult before they are easy.  What matters the most is what you start doing now.  Read Awaken the Giant Within.
  5. Attempting to fit in by becoming someone else. – The hardest battle you’re ever going to fight is the battle to be you, just the way you are in this moment.  We cannot find ourselves if we are always searching for, or morphing into, someone else.  In this crazy world that’s trying to make you like everyone else, find the courage to keep being your awesome self.  Be your own kind of beautiful right now, in the way only you know how.
  6. The picture in your head of how it’s supposed to be. – What often screws us up the most in life is the picture in our head of how it’s supposed to be.  Although every good thing has an end, in life every ending is just a new beginning.  Life goes on – not always the way we had envisioned it would be, but always the way it’s supposed to be.  Remember, we usually can’t choose the music life plays for us, but we can choose how we dance to it.  Read The Last Lecture.
  7. Berating yourself for not being perfect. – Don’t be too hard on yourself.  There are plenty of people willing to do that for you.  Do your best and surrender the rest.  Tell yourself, “I am doing the best I can with what I have in this moment.  And that is all I can expect of anyone, including me.”  Love yourself and be proud of everything that you do, even your mistakes.  Because even mistakes mean you’re trying.
  8. Waiting, and then waiting some more. – Stop waiting for tomorrow; you will never get today back.  It doesn’t matter what you’ve done in the past.  It doesn’t matter how low or unworthy you feel right now.  The simple fact that you’re alive makes you worthy.  Life is too short for excuses.  Stop settling.  Stop procrastinating.  Start today by taking one courageous step forward.  If you are not sure exactly which way to go, it is always wise to follow your heart.

10 Ways to Write a Life Story Worth Living

When writing the story of your life, don’t let someone else hold the pen.  Make conscious choices every day that align your actions with your values and dreams.  Because the way you live each day is a sentence in the story of your life.  Each day you make a choice as to whether the sentence ends with a period, a question mark, or an exclamation point.

How are you writing your life’s story?

Here are ten ideas for writing a life story worth living:

  1. Find a passion that makes you come alive. – Each new day is a blank page in the story of your life.  The secret is in turning that blank page into the best chapter you possibly can.  Don’t ask what the world needs.  Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it.  Because what the world needs, and what every great story has, are characters who have come alive in the pursuit of something that inspires them.
  2. Work hard on that passion. – The best dreams happen when you’re wide awake and working hard on something you’re passionate about.  A dream is your creative vision for your life in the future.  You must break out of your current comfort zone and become comfortable with the new and unfamiliar.  So dream big, pursue your passion, and give yourself permission to work toward a future you know you are capable of creating.  Read The 4-Hour Workweek.
  3. Live happily in your own way. – You are not in this world to live up to the expectations of others, nor should you feel that others are here to live up to yours.  Pave your own unique path.  What success means to each of us is totally different.  Success to some may mean fancy cars and homes.  Success to others may mean being a good parent, spouse, or friend.  For others, it may mean to simply be happy.  Or it can be all of the above.  Remember, success is ultimately about spending your life happily in your own way.
  4. Change your path when you must, but keep moving forward. – There are thousands of possible paths one could take up the mountain of life.  You get to choose which one you take, and you can jump from one path to another if you run into a hazardous road block.  All of these paths are unique, but lead in a similar general direction, so it really doesn’t matter which path you start off on.  The only mistake you can make is by wasting time running around at the base of the mountain, telling everyone that your life path is wrong.
  5. When the going gets tough, keep fighting. – The wisest, most loving, well rounded people you have met are likely those who have known failure, known defeat, known suffering, and have found their way out of the depths of their own despair.  These people have experienced many ups and downs, and have gained an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, understanding, and a deep loving concern.  People like this aren’t born; they develop slowly over the course of a lifetime.  Read The Road Less Traveled.
  6. Let go of the past and live consciously in the present. – Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.  The past is a good place to visit on occasion, but not a great place to stay.  Don’t sit around trying to relive or change your past when you have priceless moments unfolding in front of you and your entire future to look forward to.
  7. Embrace new ideas, lessons, and challenges. – Sometimes growing up means growing apart from old habits, relationships, and situations, and finding something new that truly moves you.  There is nothing more wonderful than seeing life as an adventure.  You should try things that you’re afraid of.  You should look very clearly into the unknown and enjoy it.  Because when you come in contact with things that you don’t know, that’s when you’re learning, growing, and truly living.
  8. Appreciate the little things in life that mean a lot. – What if you woke up tomorrow with only the things you were thankful for today?  Think of all the beauty that remains around you, and be happy.  Be thankful for all the small things in your life, because when you put them all together you will see just how significant they are.  Remember, it’s not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy.  Read The Happiness Project.
  9. Live honorably through kindness. – If you live honorably, no matter how old you get, you’ll never lose your beauty; it will just gradually shift from your face to your heart.  And remember, there is no better exercise for the heart than reaching out and holding the hand of someone in need.
  10. Spend quality time with people you love. – Lost time is never found again.  People don’t live forever.  Appreciate what you have, who loves you and who cares for you.  You’ll never know how much they mean to you until the day they are no longer beside you.  Spend lots of quality time with the people you love.  Someday you will either regret not doing so, or you will say, “I’m glad I did.”

They’re free and better than anything money can buy.  ;-)

A Little Black Pen


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