Stories I only tell my friends: The Power Of Belief-System

March 14, 2012

How Self-Confident Are You?

Filed under: Uncategorized — mylittleblackpen @ 1:52 am

Improving Self-Confidence by Building Self-Efficacy

How self-confident do you feel? Are you full of it, or do you wish you had more of it?

Whether someone demonstrates self-confidence by being decisive, trying new things, or staying in control when things get difficult, a person with high self-confidence seems to live life with passion and enthusiasm. Other people tend to trust and respect these confident individuals, which helps them build even more self-confidence – and so the cycle continues.

However, it’s not always easy to initiate that cycle. So, where do you begin?

A good place to start is to look at how effective you believe you are in handling and performing specific tasks. This is termed ‘self-efficacy,’ and it plays an important part in determining your general levels of self-confidence.

Albert Bandura is one of the leading researchers into self-efficacy. His self-efficacy theory explains the relationship between the belief in one’s abilities and how well a person actually performs a task or a range of actions. Bandura says that ‘self-efficacy’ and ‘confidence’ are not quite the same thing. Confidence is a general, not a specific, strength of belief. On the other hand, self-efficacy is the belief in one’s capabilities to achieve something specific.

If people have high self-efficacy in an area, then they think, feel, and behave in a way that contributes to and reinforces their success, and improves their personal satisfaction. They’re more likely to view obstacles as challenges to overcome, so they aren’t afraid to face new things. They recover quickly from setbacks, because they view failure more as a result of external circumstances than internal weaknesses. In general, believing in your abilities affects your motivation, your choices, your toughness, and your determination.

Therefore, self-confidence – by way of self-efficacy – often affects how well you perform, and how satisfied you are with the choices you make. This is why it’s important to understand your current level of self-efficacy, particularly in the context of your belief in your ability to perform in a variety of situations. In so doing, you will be able to identify areas where you can improve, and make a plan to do so.

Does your self-confidence affect your ability to perform? Take this short quiz and find out.

How Self-Confident Are You?

For each statement, click the button in the column that best describes you. Please answer questions as you actually are (rather than how you think you should be), and don’t worry if some questions seem to score in the ‘wrong direction’. When you are finished, please click the ‘Calculate My Total’ button at the bottom of the test.

at all
Rarely Some
Often Very
1 I tend to do what I think is expected of me, rather than what I believe to be “right.”
2 I handle new situations with relative comfort and ease.
3 I feel positive and energized about life.
4 If something looks difficult, I avoid doing it.
5 I keep trying, even after others have given up.
6 If I work hard to solve a problem, I’ll find the answer.
7 I achieve the goals I set for myself.
8 When I face difficulty, I feel hopeless and negative.
9 I relate to people who work very hard, and still don’t accomplish their goals.
10 People give me positive feedback on my work and achievements.
11 I need to experience success early in a process, or I won’t continue.
12 When I overcome an obstacle, I think about the lessons I’ve learned.
13 I believe that if I work hard, I’ll achieve my goals.
14 I have contact with people of similar skills and experience who I consider successful.
 Total = 

Score Interpretation

Score Comment
14-32 You probably wish you had more self-confidence! Take a closer look at all the things you’ve achieved in your life. You may tend to focus more on what you don’t have, and this takes time and attention away from recognizing and using your skills and talents. Read this article for everyday tips on building your self-confidence. (Read below to start.)
33-51 You’re doing an OK job of recognizing your skills, and believing in your abilities. But perhaps you’re a little too hard on yourself, and this may stop you from getting the full benefit of your mastery experiences (see below). Review our tips below to find out how to improve your self-confidence.
52-70 Excellent! You’re doing a fabulous job of learning from every experience, and not allowing obstacles to affect the way you see yourself. But you need to nurture your self-confidence, so use the tips below to ensure that your life remains full of validation and success.

Building Self-Confidence

No matter what your self-confidence level is right now, you can probably improve it. But you need to believe in yourself and your capabilities before anyone else will.

Bandura’s theory of self-efficacy is a great place to start looking for ways to improve the way you see your abilities. According to the theory, there are four sources of self-efficacy:

  1. Mastery experiences – things you have succeeded at in the past.
  2. Vicarious experiences – seeing people who are similar to you succeed.
  3. Social persuasion – hearing from others that you’re capable.
  4. Emotional status – staying positive, and managing stress.

Three of these sources (the first, second, and fourth) are within your control, so we’ll look at them more closely. However, while we can’t force people to say good things about us (the third source), we can increase the likelihood of receiving positive feedback by being more confident in general.

Developing Mastery Experiences

(Questions 1, 2, 4, 5, 6, 7, 11, 12 and 13)

The more success you experience, the more success you’re likely to enjoy in the future. But if success comes too easily, it probably won’t contribute to your self-confidence. Mastery experiences are those achievements where you know that it was your hard work and effort that brought about success.

To enjoy these types of experiences, work on motivation, toughness, and determination.

Motivation and self-confidence are connected. When you have more of one, you’ll probably have more of the other. You can generally increase your motivation by doing the following:

To examine your motivation level, and learn specific ways to improve your self-motivation, take our quiz How Self-Motivated Are You? For a great general discussion about resiliency and determination, read The Breaking Point by our contributing author Bruna Martinuzzi.

Another area to examine is your locus, or central point, of control. To develop mastery, you must believe that your effort led to your success. As such, you need to believe generally that you’re responsible for your success – not some outside force, like luck or fate. Learn more about your locus of control.

To begin to develop mastery experiences, do the following:

  • Ask for assignments that will be challenging, but that you can succeed in.
  • Assess your skills and abilities. A personal SWOT analysis is a useful tool.
  • Improve your problem solving and decision making skills. This will help create a general feeling of confidence in the choices you make.
  • Commit to personal and professional development to stay current and informed.

Read Building Self-Confidence for more tips on developing a strong belief in yourself.

Observe Others

(Questions 9, 10, and 14)

An interesting part of Bandura’s theory is the idea that seeing other people’s success improves your belief in yourself. If you view yourself as similar to someone else, and you see his or her accomplishments, you’re likely to apply that to yourself, and believe that you can achieve similar success.

The more alike you think you are, the greater the influence. So, if your boss has a similar education and work background, it can improve your confidence. If you see others working hard and succeeding, that can also motivate you and build your confidence.

The opposite may also be true. If you see people make great efforts and not achieve anything, that can hurt your confidence – especially if you think your talents and abilities are similar to theirs.

Try the following tips:

  • Network, and surround yourself with accomplished, successful people.
  • Seek a mentor who has a background similar to yours.
  • Learn from those around you. Note what they do that’s successful.
  • Choose to work for companies and industries with growth potential.

Manage Stress

(Questions 3 and 8)

When stress takes over your life, the results can be harmful. Being good at managing stress, however, can be a source of confidence: if you believe you can handle anything you might reasonably face, this can give you energy and a feeling of power. You can build this kind of positive emotion when you learn how to control the sources of stress in your life.

If you let stress control you, chances are you’ll feel very negative. You may interpret the stress as failure, which can lead to more stress and negative thinking.

To be confident, you must be positive. Face stressful situations directly, and learn strategies for managing them.

To manage stress better, try these ideas:

Key Points

Self-efficacy is an important part of self-confidence. The theory of self-efficacy says that high levels of it lead, by way of improved effectiveness, to greater success and personal satisfaction.

Some people seem to be naturally confident, but most of us need to improve our confidence – and we have the power to do so.

Focus on the experiences in your life where you were successful. This can give you the ability to see the positive side of your mistakes and setbacks. Choose to believe in yourself, and surround yourself with other positive and confident people. The more you see the success of others whose skills and abilities are similar to yours, the more likely you are to believe that you can also achieve that success. Combine all of this positive energy with great stress management strategies, and you’ll soon improve your levels of personal confidence.

Building Self-Confidence

So how do you build this sense of balanced self-confidence, founded on a firm appreciation of reality?

The bad news is that there’s no quick fix, or 5-minute solution.

The good news is that building self-confidence is readily achievable, just as long as you have the focus and determination to carry things through. And what’s even better is that the things you’ll do to build self-confidence will also build success – after all, your confidence will come from real, solid achievement. No-one can take this away from you!

So here are our three steps to self-confidence, for which we’ll use the metaphor of a journey: preparing for your journey; setting out; and accelerating towards success.

Step 1: Preparing for Your Journey

The first step involves getting yourself ready for your journey to self-confidence. You need to take stock of where you are, think about where you want to go, get yourself in the right mindset for your journey, and commit yourself to starting it and staying with it.

In preparing for your journey, do these five things:

Look at what you’ve already achieved:

Think about your life so far, and list the ten best things you’ve achieved in an “Achievement Log.” Perhaps you came top in an important test or exam, played a key role in an important team, produced the best sales figures in a period, did something that made a key difference in someone else’s life, or delivered a project that meant a lot for your business.

Put these into a smartly formatted document, which you can look at often. And then spend a few minutes each week enjoying the success you’ve already had!

Think about your strengths:

Next, use a technique like SWOT Analysis (explore personal SWOT Analysis here) to take a look at who and where you are. Looking at your Achievement Log, and reflecting on your recent life, think about what your friends would consider to be your strengths and weaknesses. From these, think about the opportunities and threats you face.

Make sure that you enjoy a few minutes reflecting on your strengths!

Think about what’s important to you, and where you want to go:

Next, think about the things that are really important to you, and what you want to achieve with your life.

Setting and achieving goals is a key part of this, and real self-confidence comes from this. Goal setting is the process you use to set yourself targets, and measure your successful hitting of those targets. See our article on goal setting to find out how to use this important technique, or use our Life Plan Workbook to think through your own goals in detail (see “Tip” below).

Inform your goal setting with your SWOT Analysis. Set goals that exploit your strengths, minimize your weaknesses, realize your opportunities, and control the threats you face.

And having set the major goals in your life, identify the first step in each. A tip: Make sure it’s a very small step, perhaps taking no more than an hour to complete!

Start managing your mind:

At this stage, you need to start managing your mind. Learn to pick up and defeat the negative self-talk which can destroy your confidence. See our article on rational positive thinking to find out how to do this.

Further useful reading includes our article on imagery – this teaches you how to use and create strong mental images of what you’ll feel and experience as you achieve your major goals – there’s something about doing this that makes even major goals seem achievable!

And then commit yourself to success!

The final part of preparing for the journey is to make a clear and unequivocal promise to yourself that you are absolutely committed to your journey, and that you will do all in your power to achieve it.

If as you’re doing it, you find doubts starting to surface, write them down and challenge them calmly and rationally. If they dissolve under scrutiny, that’s great. However if they are based on genuine risks, make sure you set additional goals to manage these appropriately. For help with evaluating and managing the risks you face, read our Risk Analysis and Management article.

Either way, make that promise!

Tip: Balanced Self-Confidence

Self-confidence is about balance. At one extreme, we have people with low self-confidence. At the other end, we have people who may be over-confident.

If you are under-confident, you’ll avoid taking risks and stretching yourself; and you might not try at all. And if you’re over-confident, you may take on too much risk, stretch yourself beyond your capabilities, and crash badly. You may also find that you’re so optimistic that you don’t try hard enough to truly succeed.

Getting this right is a matter of having the right amount of confidence, founded in reality and on your true ability. With the right amount of self-confidence, you will take informed risks, stretch yourself (but not beyond your abilities) and try hard.

So How Self Confident Are You? Take our short quiz to find out how self-confident you are already, and start looking at specific strategies to improve your confidence level.

Step 2: Setting Out

This is where you start, ever so slowly, moving towards your goal. By doing the right things, and starting with small, easy wins, you’ll put yourself on the path to success – and start building the self-confidence that comes with this.

Build the knowledge you need to succeed:

Looking at your goals, identify the skills you’ll need to achieve them. And then look at how you can acquire these skills confidently and well. Don’t just accept a sketchy, just-good-enough solution – look for a solution, a program or a course that fully equips you to achieve what you want to achieve and, ideally, gives you a certificate or qualification you can be proud of.

Focus on the basics:

When you’re starting, don’t try to do anything clever or elaborate. And don’t reach for perfection – just enjoy doing simple things successfully and well.

Set small goals, and achieve them:

Starting with the very small goals you identified in step 1, get in the habit of setting them, achieving them, and celebrating that achievement. Don’t make goals particularly challenging at this stage, just get into the habit of achieving them and celebrating them. And, little by little, start piling up the successes!

Keep managing your mind:

Stay on top of that positive thinking, keep celebrating and enjoying success, and keep those mental images strong. You can also use a technique like Treasure Mapping to make your visualizations even stronger!

And on the other side, learn to handle failure. Accept that mistakes happen when you’re trying something new. In fact, if you get into the habit of treating mistakes as learning experiences, you can (almost) start to see them in a positive light. After all, there’s a lot to be said for the saying “if it doesn’t kill you, it makes you stronger!”

Step 3: Accelerating Towards Success

By this stage, you’ll feel your self-confidence building. You’ll have completed some of the courses you started in step 2, and you’ll have plenty of success to celebrate!

This is the time to start stretching yourself. Make the goals a bit bigger, and the challenges a bit tougher. Increase the size of your commitment. And extend the skills you’ve proven into new, but closely related arenas.

Tip 1:
Keep yourself grounded – this is where people tend to get over-confident and over-stretch themselves. And make sure you don’t start enjoying cleverness for its own sake…

Tip 2:
If you haven’t already looked at it, use our How Self Confident Are You? quiz to find out how self-confident you are, and to identify specific strategies for building self-confidence.

As long as you keep on stretching yourself enough, but not too much, you’ll find your self-confidence building apace. What’s more, you’ll have earned your self-confidence – because you’ll have put in the hard graft necessary to be successful!

Goal setting is arguably the most important skill you can learn to improve your self-confidence. If you haven’t already read and applied our goal setting article, you can read it here.

A Little Black Pen and His MindTool


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