The problem is, first thing next morning I no longer feel like I did the night before. In fact, more often than not, I feel worse than I did before the meeting. I doubt my ability to ever get out there and achieve. I just can’t find whatever it takes to stay “motivated”. Again and, before too long, I reach the conclusion that I never will – and I quit.
Sound familiar? It’s common story, sadly. Any organization involved in sales spends a small fortune on “motivational” speakers and meeting for its sales people, over and over again, because the effects are so short-lived. It seems that only a tiny handful of genuine achievers can ever make the grade.
WHY DOES “MOTIVATION” FAIL TO LAST?
To discover why, we have to look inside, at our own motives.
Motives are what drive human attitudes and behavior. Motives are internal, and they work from the inside out. Look at the following diagram:
- Motives (thinking)
- Attitudes (feeling)
- Behavior (action)
Our attitudes reflect our inner motives, whatever they are. In turn, out attitudes influence our behavior. Our behavior is how we make contact with the world around us – which is why it’s the outer circle. So you can see how the process works from inner to outer in logical sequence.
The next diagram shows how this works in human beings.
- Rational/Spiritual/Psychological Mind/Spirit/Psyche
- Emotional
- Physical
- Body
Can you see the connection between the two diagrams?
Our behavior is physical – a function of the body. Our words and actions. Our motives are closely connected with our mind and our spirit, or psyche – our controlling thoughts. This is the real person, the one whose inner thoughts determine everything we say and do. Our attitudes are very much an influence on our emotions. Our past emotional experiences, and our personal values and prejudices, all shape our attitudes and help determine our emotional responses to things, which are then translated into physical behavior. Ideally, our rational mind is able to control the whole process and override any uncontrolled emotional response to a situation, like those described earlier in this section.
The secret of successful motivation is not manufactured excitement or ‘hype’. Motives must have substance to be real. Trying to enforce artificial ‘motivation’ through emotional manipulation is no more realistic than trying to fill a glass with beer from a super-high-pressure tap . . . all you get is a glass full of froth. When the bubbles burst, and the air finally dissipates, you’re left with a glass that’s all wet, a lot of deflation, and very little substance. Much like the way we feel after being ‘motivated’!
Unless motives can be changed in such way that they transform attitudes and behavior, we’re wasting our time and, more than likely, doing very real damage.
By manipulating people’s emotions we also trigger a physical response: their endocrine systems begin pumping out adrenalin, their hearts rates surge and they feel ‘fantastic’ (another familiar word in this context). In reality, this is neither nothing more nor less than internally induced substance abuse. And just any other form of substance abuse, such as drugs or alcohol (both externally induced), there’s a pretty nasty after-effect when the stuff stops coursing through our veins. The let-down is real, and the long-term physical, emotional, and psychological damage is just as real. ‘Executive burnout’ is a classic example of this pattern of long-term internal substance abuse. Is it any wonder, then, that the morning after is such a let-down?
We’re experiencing it on every level, physical, emotional, and psychological. In term of cause and effect, it’s no different to a hangover or any other come-down from a drug-induced ‘high’. The reality’s quite frightening, isn’t it?
People who would never dream of abusing drugs or alcohol wind up abusing their own body’s internal systems – ‘hook on their own juices’ as the saying goes – the most insidious form of substance abuse of all because it’s hidden from view. Worse still, we actually encourage others to do the same.
IS THERE A PLACE FOR MEETINGS AND RALLIES?
Absolutely! Selling is the loneliest profession in the world, and human beings are social creatures who need regular contact and reassurance that they’re part of the scheme of things. The secret, as always, lies in finding the correct perspective.
An understanding of human nature and how motivation really works (not the cheap, manipulative “psycho-babble” that passes for it so much of the time) can reverse the pattern of damage and destruction. A comprehensive explanation of how and why this more enlightened, reliable approach works can be found in two other volumes in the Fourth Generation Thinking series. See the appendix under “Training Resources”.
SUBCONSCIOUS AND HABIT
Problem: We are born to win but are conditioned to lose. When something wrong happened, we put the blame on luck. This is not true. If we analyze, the successful person is doing something right in each transaction and the failure is repeating the same mistake in each transaction. Remember, practice does not make perfect. Only perfect practice make perfect. Practice makes permanent whatever you do repeatedly. If we keep practicing our mistakes and they become perfect in them >> then it becomes automatically and turn into habit.
Cultivating a habit is like plowing the field. It takes time. Inspiration is what gets a person started, motivation is what keeps him on track and habit is what makes it automatic. What habit you want to build : >> the ability to show courage in the face of adversity >> show self-restraint in the face of temptation >> choose happiness in the face of hurt >> show character in the face of despair >> see opportunity in the face of obstacles. All these trait can be build by consistent training, both mental and physical.
Human beings are more emotional than rational. Our rational depends on our belief system and value system. We form habit and habits form character. Before you realize that you have got the habit, the habit has got you. We need to form the habit of thinking right.
Our thoughts lead to actions >> actions lead to habits >> and habits form character >> CHARACTER leads to destiny.
1. Form Good Habits
Most of our behavior is habitual. It comes automatically without thinking. Character is the sum total of our habits. If a person has positive habits, then he is considered a positive character. And negative habits, is negative character. Habits are a lot stronger than logic and reasoning. Habits start by being too weak to be felt, and end up becoming too strong to get out of. Habits can be developed by default or determination.
2. How do we form habits
We learn by doing. Anything we do repeatedly becomes a habit. By behaving courageously, we learn courage. What we practice, that is what we become good at. Attitudes are habits. They are behavior patterns. They become a state of mind and dictate our responses
3. Conditioning
Most of our behavior comes as a result of conditioning – it is habitual. If we want to do anything well, it must becomes automatic. If we have to consciously think about doing the right thing we will never be able to do it well. That means we must make it a habit. It is our responsibility to condition ourselves in a positive manner.
>> Good habits are hard to come by but easy to live with. Bad habits come easy but hard to live with.
How do we get conditioned?
>> Think of a mighty elephant that can lift in excess of a ton of weight with just its trunk. How do they condition the elephant to stay in one place with a weak rope and a stake?
The elephant when it is a baby is tied to a strong chain and a strong tree. The baby is weak but the chain and tree are strong. The baby is not used to being tied. So it keep tugging and pulling the chain, all in vain. A day comes when it realizes that all the tugging and pulling will not help. It stops and stands still. Now it is conditioned.
And when the baby elephant becomes the mighty giant elephant, he is tied with a weak rope and a small stake. The elephant could, with one tug, walk away free, but it goes no where, because it has been conditioned.
>> Human beings are constantly being conditioned consciously or unconsciously, by exposure to:
- The kind of book we read
- The kind of movies and TV programs we watch
- The kind of music we listen to
- The kind of company we keep
>> The most difficult thing about changing a habit is unlearning what is not working and learning positive habits. If you keep doing what you have been doing, you will keep getting what you have gotten.
4. The GIGO Principle
GIGO >> garbage in, garbage out >> negative in, negative out >> positive in, positive out >> good in, good out. Our input equals our output. Our subconscious mind does not discriminate. Whatever we choose to put into our subconscious mind it will accept and our behavior will reflect that accordingly.
>> Advertisers are good at conditioning their audience. They are influencing our thinking by great words. The movies make we laugh and we cry, because the emotional input has an immediate emotional output. Change the input and the output changes.
ADDITIONAL TIPS
How can you turn your fear into a positive force in your life?
The first thing you need to understand is the fear itself. Why are you afraid? Is it a rational fear? A fear of snakes can be rational, while a fear of spoons isn’t.
Figure out if your fear is rational; if it isn’t, try to understand why you have such an irrational fear. You may need to seek help if you can’t understand or overcome it.
Sometimes our fears can drive us to do great things and achieve massive success. Once you learn to conquer your fears, you can move past them. The strength you gain from conquering them can provide the momentum that drives you to future success.
Sometimes the only way to get over a fear is to confront it head on. If you have a fear of failure about a certain task, then the only thing to do is take it on and beat it. If you succeed, you’ll be encouraged to face another fear.
If you fail to conquer your fear the first time, regroup and try again. Each time you try, you’ll learn something new that you can use the next time around.
You can also take your mind off your fears. Here are 3 good ways:
1. Exercise. Physical activity boosts the immune system and strengthens the mind and body. When you exercise, your body releases endorphins that help promote a healthy mind and body. In the least, exercise can take your mind off your worries.
2. Set goals. Take some time out of your day to set some specific, short term, and simple goals. The more you can complete, the more self-confidence you’ll build. Self-confidence is a powerful tool for removing fear.
3. Talk about it. Fears can multiply when you bottle them up inside you. When you let fear build, it snowballs and gets bigger and bigger until it becomes terrifying to you. Talking about it helps
relieve the pressure and gives you the opportunity to obtain honest feedback.
Worries Are Fears, Too!
Let go of the habit of worry. Worry is a useless emotion and doesn’t help you move beyond rational fear. Why? Worry always falls into one of two categories:
1. Things you can’t control. If you have no control over the outcome of a situation, why worry about it? You can’t change or control other people. What will happen, will happen.
* Worrying won’t make a difference at all in the situation. It will only add to your fears and prevent you from taking care of the things you can control.
2. Things you can control. If you can control the situation you are concerned about, then it’s simple: take action! If you’re doing everything you can, then you no longer have any need to worry.
* Worry slows you down, makes you second guess yourself, and could even lead to a self-fulfilling prophecy of failure.
In the end, facing your fears head on will give you more self-confidence, provide valuable experience, and make you stronger. You don’t have to be a slave to your fears. You can face your fears valiantly and triumphantly!
A Little Black Pen
Stories I only tell my friends: The Power Of Belief-System 