Are you living the life you really want to live or thought you would be living 1, 3, 5, 10 years ago? Maybe it’s time to look at your life and take stock and get rid of the debris.
Have you ever let the house cleaning pile up so much it gets you down for a few weeks? the washing has not been done, the ironing needs done, the skirting boards need dusting, the garage needs cleaned out, your wardrobes
are full of crap, your kitchen drawers are housing letters, book, pills, toys and other rubbish. I’ve done this in the past and felt like shit every time I went home. Then it reaches saturation point, you get up on a Saturday morning early and decide that’s it the house is getting cleaned from top to bottom. I would spend all day cleaning out the drawers, the wardrobes every single thing that I had been neglecting the previous weeks.
Come 8pm you’ve done it. How did you feel? my guess is you felt great, you spirit was lifted, your mind felt lighter and you had a little more energy even though you had just spend 5-8 hours cleaning. This is your spirit lifting and your perspective changing. Your house was tidy so new possibilities could happen in your life. You could invite people up for dinner
because you’re not ashamed of the mess, you could feel good giving some clothes to charity, you felt a weight lifted as you’d dealt with all the letters that you had been meaning to deal with but put them in the drawer for later, in the clear up you managed to find your phone so you returned your phone calls so you felt you weren’t neglecting your friends and family. There are scores of reasons you felt better about cleaning the house.
Well it might be time to clean out your life!
Do you feel a bit low, feel lethargic, feelings of despair, hopelessness and your life is lacking direction? You need to look at your life and what you are doing that makes you feel like this. In the first in a series of articles looking at your life and how to change it we are look at your job.
Are you doing the job you are meant to be doing? If you work full time you spend most of your waking day working. If you hate your job you hate 8-12 hours of your day. If you are doing this every day it adds up to a lot of unhappiness. Change it! I can already hear you thinking ‘yeah right, it’s not that easy’ why is it not that easy? The money is too good, I don’t have any other skills, I’ve been doing it for 30 years there’s nothing else, and I’m too old.
Okay I hear all the reasons for not doing it. Answer me this question: If your son, daughter, niece or nephew came to you one day and said they were feeling really shit and it was because of their job at the restaurant, they didn’t like it and it was getting them down. After listening to them you would more than likely advise them to change jobs. Now, you may say that’s different as they are young, it’s easy to find a different job, however in their mind it is no different from your situation. With their limited knowledge and experience of the world their perspective on life is the same as yours. I other words giving up their crappy job is no less different than you giving up your job and starting something else.
I can hear lots of ‘yeah but I……………………’ what it comes down to having the balls to step up to the plate and change your future happiness and your family’s.
Grab your balls!
I worked at BT for 10 years answering the phones to unhappy customers and some happy customers. I got paid well, would get a great pension, health benefits the works. However, I was unhappy. I resented the fact that I had to get up every morning and go to work at a place I didn’t like. I was out of sync and it showed. My wife knew I was unhappy. I wanted to help people in some way, work in the social care sector, so I applied for a few jobs and couldn’t get in. I started looking around for voluntary work. Then when the chance of voluntary redundancy came up I thought about it and dismissed it many times, I would only get £11,000. I had a wedding to pay for, 2 children, a big house. When I discussed my plans for a new business selling Signed 1st edition books and worked out the finances and after discussing it with my wife I went for it. I grabbed my balls and left the company.
The first year was great and I had an annual turnover of £40,000, but I did work around 12 hours a day, however it was from home. After a year or so the business decreased dramatically for various reasons and I could no longer get the money I was getting before. So I folded the business and went back to BT on a temporary contract working with the people I had worked with before. I noticed how unhappy most of them were and they were getting paid a hell of a lot more than me. I was grateful to my friend and manager for giving the chance to earn a bit until I re-evaluated my life.
Again I turned to the social care sector and the same things happened as before, I had no experience. So again I looked at voluntary work, but managed to get a job as a support worker helping the homeless and that is where I am today. I am not totally in sync but I am a lot closer than I was before and I am happier for it.
My wife is now in the same situation. She has grabbed her balls and gone to university full time to study for a degree, she left a job paying nearly double what I earn just now. It’s a bit scary but we KNOW it will work out and we have made moderate adjustments to our lives to help her dream.
1. Do you need to change your job or do you need to change the way you do your job?
Write down all the things you don’t like about your job No write down all the things you do like
It maybe you don’t need to change your job it could be your working practice or the people you work with. Some people have left jobs and later found out it wasn’t the actual job itself they didn’t like it was an aspect of the workplace they didn’t like. You need to know this first before you do anything else.
2. Do you know what you really want to do?
Most people don’t know what they really want to do with their working life. Try the following exercise:
Write down 7 things you love to do
Write down your 7 best talents (be honest and don’t be shy)
Write down 7 jobs you’d love to do
Write down 7 things other people say you’re good at
Write down 7 courses you would take at university if you had the chance
After you have down this look at all the things you’ve written and try and find a common theme. It might be teaching, it might be learning, it might be driving just try and find the theme.
3. If someone gave me a million pounds
If someone gave you a million pounds to change careers what career would you choose? Whatever you answer will give you an insight into the type of job you really want and for some the type of person you really are.
4. Build a bridge to a new career
If you can invest the time and money you might still be able to work and learn a new career at the same time therefore giving you the chance to move one foot out of the door of your current job and one foot into a new job.
5. Be willing to learn
What keeps young people young is their enthusiasm for learning. As we get older we tend to think we are too old to learn something new. The more we learn the healthier our brains are. It has been shown that if we keep our minds active our brain can regenerate and build more synapses and keep us youthful in mind and spirit. It is a myth that you cannot teach old dogs new tricks. Get this out of your thinking pattern and you can change your life.
Be willing to take courses or go to university or college or back to take some exams, what is holding you back.
6. Change your thinking
A lot of people have gotton into such a rut about their jobs that they believe it will be impossible to leave their job without getting the sack or being made redundant or retiring. A lot of people also believe that they are being selfish if they think about leaving. If you feel you are being disloyal to your employer, don’t. You really are only a number and you can be replaced. This might be hard to swallow but it’s the truth.
You have to start thinking about what you want and need. Speak it over with your partner; get them on your side. Do the figures and the training and everything else, but look after you and you will be better equipped to look after other people e.g. your family.
7. Grab your balls
You’ve figured out what you want to do, you’ve done some training, you’ve done the figures, spoke it over with friends and family, you’ve done everything. Now grab your balls and jump.
11 Biggest Hurdles in Life and How to Overcome Them
Life is never perfect. It is quite difficult living in it. The reason why we succeed in it is because there are a lot of hurdles and obstacles that we face each day that also mold us into effective and valuable individuals. The main challenge for us is to find a way to get through and overcome those hurdles. Nonetheless, it is not always easy to fight problems in life. Sometimes, a lot of people just give up without even giving enough of a fight.
If you want to succeed and live a worthy life, here’s a look at the 11 biggest hurdles most of us face and the ways we can overcome them:
Where and when should I start? – People who start walking in the wrong foot are likely to fail in life. This question is a big hurdle because there are many individuals who simply do not know where and when they should begin. Should I be concerned about finding a job after graduation or should I rest and think of my objectives first? In order to overcome this hindrance, you should set your priorities straight. Build a strong commitment to follow it
What do I really want? – This is another question that lingers in the minds of many young people. In as early as your teenage years, you should be able to look beyond the present. Begin thinking about the career path you want to pursue and make all the right stuff to get there.
Making unwise plans – Every step we take in life involves planning. From the smallest to the biggest decision, there should always be a plan in order to bring out success. But if you are used to making quick but very unwise plans, the result would be frequent failures. Much worse, you cannot expect to overcome this hurdle if you do not plan at all. The key to being effective in everything you do is if you plan wisely and ahead.
Lack of conviction – Another common hurdle in life is the lack of conviction. This happens when you are always confronted with problems and failures and you eventually lose hope. If you want to overcome this, dare to try as long as you can. In fact, conviction is the initial attitude you must possess since all the other positive attributes of success such as knowledge, confidence, and belief will eventually follow.
Pessimism – Pessimism is doubt. It is the lack of trust to oneself and to others. This becomes a hurdle if you allow yourself to be controlled by it. People who are always negative will always find a way to turn their backs on challenges. As a result, they can never be successful. To overcome this is quite simple. What you need to do is to simply think and act positively. Remember that there is always room for success if you just open your door to it.
Temptations – Temptations can ruin your life. Unfortunately for many, this notice didn’t reach them when they succumb to it. The worst thing about temptation is it strikes you face to face but it is so hard to resist it. If you want to overcome this hurdle, go back and think of your priorities in life. Is the thing that seduces you part of those priorities? If not, build resistance to it – whatever it takes.
Lack of control – Sometimes, no matter how committed and dedicated we are, we still can fail in life if we have no control of what’s happening in it. This hurdle is manifested by the fact that a lot of us tolerate other people to dictate our lives – from the career and job you choose to the future you want, there seems to be another person shaping up your life. If you want this hurdle to be gone for good, be in the driver’s seat. Take control.
Dreaming vs. doing – Being ambitious is good. But reaching your dreams and ambition is obviously easier said than done. It is good if you aim for success, but make sure you’re also doing something to reach for it. Many people actually fail in this area because all they do is dream all day without waking up and making the right decisions to realize that dream.
Bitter over the past – Another very influential blocking factor in life is putting oneself trapped in the mistakes and failures of the past. People who dwell in the past simply cannot move on. This becomes a hurdle in life because instead of using your time in planning ahead for what’s in store for you in the future, you elect to cry over spilled milk or emote on the mistake you’ve done in the past. To overcome this, simply make sure you’re going into the right direction – and that’s going forward.
Lack of courage and confidence – We’ve seen a fair share of talented and gifted individuals who have failed in life. One of the most obvious reasons for their failure is the lack of courage and confidence. Bear in mind that you will likely fail in life even if you have all the skills in the world but lack the power to show it.
Absence of love – Finally, the most powerful hurdle in life is the lack of love. Whenever people lack this kind of feeling for themselves and for others, life is really worth nothing. So for you to overcome this, you need to start feeling and showing some love.
Overcoming the Hurdles of Everyday Life
Do you look at obstacles in your life as a nuisance? Or do you embrace them for the challenge that they are?
Do you shy away from confrontation? Or do you face your fears head on?
While many choose to avoid the hurdles in which stand before them, I suggest a more intelligent approach.
Run full speed ahead.
Whether you’re dealing with a death of a loved one, a break up, the loss of a job, or even a stubborn sickness, all hurdles have one thing in common: they are meant to be overcome.
Take The Right Approach
In order to overcome the hurdles of life, it is essential that you take the right approach.
How many times have you allowed your thoughts to sabotage your journey before it even began?
When you expect to succeed you dramatically increase your chances of overcoming the obstacles that stand in your way.
Without proper perspective, hurdles are often made to be larger than they really are.
Yet when put in perspective, seemingly colossal hurdles soon become a minute part of your human existence. Death, sickness, and failure are all small pieces of the puzzle of life.
A few years ago, during my Jr. year in high school, my family was transferred to Shanghai, China. The move required that I make new friends and adjust to a new country and culture.
I could have easily let the my fear of starting over dictate the life I lived. But instead of shying away, I embraced the obstacle and learned to make the most of the change. It just so happens that my two years in China proved to be an experience filled with growth.
In fact, right at this very moment, I find myself in a similar situation as I transition into the college life. My past hurdles have prepared me for what lies a head.
Taking the right approach doesn’t always mean you will know exactly what to do. All that matters is you follow your intuition and make the most of the situation at hand.
Don’t Look Back
The worst thing you can do is let your past mistakes govern your thoughts of today.
When you fail, it is important not to wallow in your self pity but rather rise and walk again.
Isolated, failure is nothing to be ashamed about, yet the emotions we associate with failure are.
Mistakes and failures are vital to growth.
Extract all you can from your shortcomings and use it as fuel for the drive to a better you.
Far too often, we allow our past to interrupt the gentle flow of the now and consequently remain stuck in a never ending cycle of misery.
When you conciously choose to look forward instead of back you will finally begin truthfully experience the present moment.
Never expect to clear the hurdles of today, if you’re still being blocked by the barricades of yesterday.
When you allow yourself to be constricted by fear, overcoming obstacles becomes that much harder.
Being scared is perfectly acceptable but letting your fears control you is not.
Those who let fear run there lives often find themselves living an unfullfilled life.
After all, the universe doesn’t reward cowardice. Valor goes a long way.
Trust that you’re current situation is exactly what you need at that given moment and watch your fear melt away.
Fear starts in the mind and ends in reality.
Don’t let fear stop you from discovering who you really are.
Embrace The Hurdles of Life
Sometimes the hurdles you face in your daily life may appear to be intimidating. You may feel as if you’re not ready to overcome what lies before you.
But the truth is you are, you always are. Every event in your life is tailored to your highest needs, regardless if you agree or not.
Hurdles aren’t here to make your life miserable, but rather aid you in growing into the person you are destined to be.
Take a step, a breath, and sail over your hurdles today.
A Little Black Pen