World, take my child by the hand – he starts school today! It is all going to be strange and new to him for a while, and I wish you would sort of treat him gently. You see, up to now, he has been king of the roost. He has been the boss of the backyard. I have always been around to repair his wounds, and I have always been handy to soothe his feelings.
But now things are going to be different. This morning he is going to walk down the front steps, wave his hand, and start on a great adventure that probably will include wars and tragedy and sorrow. To live in this world will require faith and love and courage. So, world, I wish you would sort of take him by his young hand and teach him the things he will have to know. Teach him – but gently, if you can.
He will have to learn, I know, that all people are not just – that all men and women are not true. Teach him that for every scoundrel, there is a hero; that for every enemy, there is a friend. Let him learn early that the bullies are the easiest people to lick.
Teach him the wonder of the books. Give him quite time to ponder the eternal mystery of birds in the sky, bees in the sun, and flowers on a green hill. Teach him that it is far more honorable to fail than to cheat. Teach him to have faith in his own ideas, even if everyone tells him they are wrong.
Try to give my son the strength not to follow the crowd when everyone else is getting on the band-wagon. Teach him to listen to others, but to filter all he hears on a screen of truth and to take only the good that comes through. Teach him never to put a price tag on his heart and soul. Teach him to close his ears on the howling mob – and to stand and fight if he thinks he is right. Teach him gently, WORLD, but do not coddle him, because only the test of fires makes fine steel. This is a big order, WORLD, but see what you can do. They are such a nice son.
Signed, Your Father
I will pay more for the ability to deal with people than for any other ability under the sun.
We do not have business problem. We have people problems. When we solve our people problems, our business problems are substantially resolved. People knowledge is more important than product knowledge. Successful people build pleasing and magnetic personalities, which is makes them charismatic. This helps in getting friendly cooperation from others. A pleasing personality is easy to recognize but hard to define. It is apparent in the way a person walks and talks, his tone of voice, the warmth in his behavior and his definitive level of confidence. Some people never lose their attractiveness regardless of age because it flows both from the face and the heart. A pleasing personality is a combination of a person’s attitude, behavior, and expressions. Wearing a pleasant expression is more important than anything else you wear. It takes a lot more than a shoeshine and a manicure to give a person polish. Charming manners used to disguise a poor character may work in the short run, but reveal themselves rather quickly. Relationships based on talent and personality alone, without character, make life miserable. Charisma without character is like good looks without goodness. The bottom line is, a lasting winning combination requires both character and charisma.
Be courteous to all, but intimate with a few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation.
George Washington, January 15, 1783
Life is an eco
A little boy got angry with his mother and shouted at her, “I hate you, I hate you”. Because of fear of reprimand, he ran out of the house. He went up to the valley and shouted, “I hate you, I hate you”. This was the first time in his life he had heard an echo. He got scared, went to his mother for protection, and said there was a bad boy in the valley who shouted “I hate you, I hate you”. The mother understood and she asked her son to go back and shout, “I love you, I love you”. The little boy went and shouted, “I love you, I love you,” and back came the echo. That taught the little boy a lesson – which our life is like an echo: We get back what we give. Benjamin Franklin said, “When you are good to others, you are best to yourself.
Life is a boomerang
Whether it is our thoughts, actions or behavior, sooner or later they return and with great accuracy. Treat people with respect on your way up because you will be meeting them on your way down. Goodness has a way of coming back; that is the nature of the beast. One doesn’t have to do good with a desire to get back. It just happens automatically.
It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
We see things not the way they are but the way we are
There is a legend about a wise man who was sitting outside his village. A traveler came up and asked him, “What kind of people live in this village, because I am looking to move from my present one?” The wise man asked, “What kind of people lives where you wan t to move from?” The man said, “They are mean, cruel, and rude”. The wise man replied, “The same kind of people lives in this village too”. After some time another traveler came by and asked the same question and the wise man asked him, “What kind of people live where you want to move from?” And the traveler replied, “The people are very kind, courteous, polite, and good”. The wise man said, “You will find the same kind of people here too”.
What is the moral of the story? Generally we see the world not the way it is but the way we are. Most of the time, other people’s behavior is a reaction to our own.
I believe all relationships are trust relationships, such as employer/employee, parent/child, husband/wife, student/teacher, buyer/seller, and customer/salesperson. How can we have trust without integrity? Crisis in trust really means crisis in truth. Trust results from being trustworthy. What are the factors that build trust?
- Reliability – gives predictability and comes from commitment
- Consistency – builds confidence
- Respect – to self and others gives dignity and shows a caring attitude
- Fairness – appeals to justice and integrity
- Openness – shows two-way traffic
- Congruence – action and words harmonize. If a person says one thing and behaves differently, how can you trust that person?
- Competence – comes when a person has the ability and the attitude to serve
- Integrity – the key ingredient to trust
- Acceptance – in spite of our effort to improve we need to accept each other with our pluses and minuses
- Character – a person may have all the competence but if he lacks character he can’t be trusted
Trust is a greater compliment than love. There are some people we love but we can’t trust them. Relationships are like bank accounts: The more we deposit the greater they become, therefore, the more we can draw from them. However, if you try to draw without depositing, it leads to disappointment. Many times we feel we are overdrawn but in reality we may be under-deposited.
Below are some of the consequences of poor relationships and the lack of trust:
- Lack of communication
- No team spirit
- Lack of credibility
- Poor self-esteem
- Loss of productivity
- Poor health
- Breakdown of morale
- Uncooperative behavior
A Little Black Pen